Wednesday, December 12, 2018

Winter 2018

Special Guest Columnist: Courtney P.

1. Hello I’m a mother of three (6, 5 & 2 year olds). I’ve been dating this guy for about 3 months and I like him a lot. He told me he didn’t want kids so I never told him I had any. Am I wrong for not telling him yet? - Anonymous

Rikki - Girl, what are you doing?? You can't even build anything serious with him with a secret like that. Anyone who cannot accept your children isn't the one for you anyway, but what you've done is rob him of the chance to even reconsider his feelings and grow a love for your children as his love grows for you. Your children are your priority and should never be a secret for the sake of a relationship. Period. 

Courtney P. - I think you are wrong for not telling him. If he stated that he didn’t want kids this could be a deal breaker for him and if he finds out that you’re lying he may think you are a deceitful person and you don’t want to come off that way. By no means should you be secretive about your children because if a man doesn’t except you and your children you don’t belong with him anyway. If you’re plan on having a future with him be honest from the beginning. 

2. I’ve been with my girl for 6 years and she’s keeps bringing up marriage. I’m not ready yet but I don’t want to lose her. Our 7 year anniversary is in January and I was thinking about getting her name tattooed on my chest. Do you think that will be enough? - 3Pee

Rikki - Marriage isn't for everyone, but for those who aren't into it, they have reasons. So I ask, what are yours? Most women have had an idea of what their wedding day would be like since they were children. The tattoo will make her say "aww" but it's not the commitment she's looking for. I understand that you don't want to lose her, so you really need to figure out what's worth it. Most women aren't willing to wait forever. Seven years seems like forever enough. The marriage doesn't have to be overnight, but if you guys are already living the "married life" (I'm assuming) and already living together etc, what are you so afraid of? It can't be commitment. But honestly if marriage just isn't FOR you, for real, then you need to talk to her and give her the opportunity to decide how she feels about that. 

Courtney P. - A tattoo?? Um no. This might work if you have one of those do whatever you say and follow your lead type of chicks, but a real woman who is strong and confident with who she is doesn’t care about a tattoo. That type of woman cares about your commitment. You need to be honest with yourself and ask yourself is this really the woman you want to be with for the rest of your life. You’ve been with her for 7 years but you’re still not ready? What’s the hold up? If you really truly love her and want to be with her, propose to her. An engagement doesn’t mean you have to get married in two weeks but don’t think about waiting 7 more years either! Create a plan and a timeline to complete whatever is holding you back from marrying her. But it also needs to be a legitimate reason as to why you’re not ready because if it’s not stop playing with her emotions and let her move on with her life. 

3. I started seeing my cousin’s ex fiancé about 3 weeks after they broke up. We’ve been dating about a month now and he asked me to move in with him. My cousin and I are like sisters so I feel like I’m betraying her. What should I do? - Allie-NJ

Rikki - FLAG ON THE PLAY ALLIE. This is wrong on SO many levels. The fact that he was able to get with you so soon after means y'all probably already had y'all eyes on each other. He won't take you serious. And with him wanting to move you in so quickly, he's probably USING you. I don't even wanna say let's watch this play out because I already know how it's going to play out-- Netflix and LifeTime have plenty of storylines just like this. In the end, you'll end up single with no cousin, and hopefully not a baby or disease to keep you comfortable. This is just not okay. It's not worth it. There are plenty of men in the world, enough to where we don't have to go fishing in our cousin's ponds Allie. This is a no for me. It's still early, and hopefully your feelings aren't as invested, because you can't possibly keep seeing him. 

Courtney P. - Allie Allie. What should you do!!?? Let’s start with you should’ve never gotten involved with him in the first place!! You should feel like you are betraying her because that’s exactly what you are doing. You need to leave him alone. You also need to ask yourself is this relationship with my cousin/sisters ex fiancé more important that the relationship with my own family member? You also need to start paying attention to what is happening right now. You’ve been dating him for a month and he already asked you to move in with him and this is after being apart from your cousin for only 3 weeks! So he has jumped ship very very quickly. He was engaged to your cousin and since that didn’t work out he’s dating you and now wants a committed situation-ship with you. He sounds desperate and needy. If you move in with him y’all will not last long at all. Then when the dust settles you will be without a man and cousin who wants nothing to do with you. There are too many men in this world to be going after your cousins ex. You broke girl code Allie.


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