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Monday, March 3, 2014

March/April 2014


1. I spent 2 years pursuing this girl. I actually said she was the one I was going to marry as soon as I met her. She's beautiful, smart and career driven. The problem is she's been hurt before & she's so guarded she won't let me in. She says be patient but its been 2 years! Should I stick with it or move on?- MattFord

Rikki - MattFord, as a man, you know when you've found "the one." Some women take longer to get over past hurts than others, the same goes for men. Although it's been two years, that doesn't necessarily mean it's been a long time, or a short time--healing takes time and that time varies. You know when you've found the one worth waiting for, so you tell me...is she worth the wait? 

Kasha - Dear Mattford, If she has been hurt in the past and has yet to let you in after two years; I say move on. After two years she should trust you enough to know she can let her guards down with you. If she is still emotionally broken from previous relationship issues and baggage she needs to work on herself. Sometimes we want to fix people when in fact they need to fix themselves. Give her space and if all she needs is time, she will eventually come around. If your available give it a chance. Otherwise let it go, you've already given a lot.

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2. My boyfriend & I have been together for almost 4 years. I brought up marriage & he said he loves me but he's not in love with me. He says we're great the way we are. Something doesn't feel right. Would do you guys think?  - LExxy18

Rikki Listen Hun, I don't know how old you are but I can tell you one thing--if it's been four years and he's not in love with you yet, he won't be. And to be honest, you've been dragged along this whole time. No one would waste such a long time with someone they aren't in love with. If he hasn't lost interest yet, he will be soon. Doesn't sound like he's that into you. You been there long enough, go out and enjoy your life and find someone who's on the same page as you. 

Kasha - Dear Lexxy18, Most likely you already know the answer to this question. After four years he should be in love with you period, point, blank. You view your relationship as an avenue to marriage but your in his friend zone. Don't give anymore time to this friendship when you clearly want more. I think you should pursue other options.

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3. I'm a happily married woman but I find myself sexually attracted to my husbands sister. I've never acted on it but last week she kissed me. I've never had these feelings before and I don't know what to do. I have a great family & I don't want to mess it up but I can't stop thinking about her. What should I do? - Anonymous 

Rikki - Run the other way! Lusting after a woman is not worth your family or your marriage. His sister is completely off limits. However, if you feel that you want to satisfy your craving for a woman, suggest a threesome to your husband. Present it as a spicy "treat" to him. If it sounds exciting to him, find someone other than his sister to go through this with, that way you can fulfill your fantasy of being intimate with a woman, while involving your husband as well. However if he's against the idea, you just have to let it go hun. And your thoughts of his sister too. 

Kasha - Anonymous, It seems that you are bi-curious. This definitely will be a killer for your marriage. Not to mention it is his sister. You should not cross that line. I would air on the side of caution about telling him. You should tell her to never approach you in that manner again. If it were another female he would probably thank his lucky stars, but family, close family! Keep it moving. You stand to mess up a lot of lives and relationships.

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